One of the things I hear most often about neurofeedback is the concern that by working with the brain, we may somehow be changing an individual’s personality—or core self—and harming their cognitive skills. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Neurofeedback is a teaching tool. It rewards the brain for making gentle changes in the same way we are rewarded with satisfaction when teaching ourselves a new skill. Think of the changes that neurofeedback initiates as being similar to the changes to the brain you’d make if you were trying to learn a new language. The only difference is that instead of remembering colors or numbers, your body is remembering new patterns of response to life.

Your core self isn’t damaged. In fact, many people notice that their best selves come out when they undertake brain training; feeling better often leads to being better, being more at ease and able to focus and engage the world. It makes sense when you think about it. When you’re better rested and less stressed, you’re more likely to be patient with people in your life rather than snapping at them, you’re more likely to get things done in a timely manner rather than missing or being coerced into meeting deadlines, you’re more likely to get pleasant responses from people when you yourself feel pleasant. When you are calmer and more focused, you may even perform better in school—there have even been studies showing an increase in IQ that came from neurofeedback training.

The bottom line is that many people are intimidated by neuroscience, but each of us consciously and unconsciously changes our own brains every day as a result of how we choose to spend our time. Making the choice to spend time on teaching ourselves how to be better selves suddenly doesn’t sound all that intimidating.