I Don’t Work with Everybody Anymore. Here’s Why.


It sounds like an odd thing to say, but I have stopped accepting just anyone who wants to work with me as a client. That’s because I want my clients to succeed, and I’ve learned the hard way that it is not a wise idea to keep my doors open without filtering those who likely won’t make changes.  Even though it is hard to say no to someone who really, really wants to do neurofeedback, especially if they have come to me referred by a friend or colleague, I do my best to filter out people to improve the chances that my trainees all have positive outcomes. If I don’t say no, the outcome is likely not going to be good. 

So, what are the bad things that I avoid by filtering clients?

The worst—and most likely—thing is absolutely nothing. By that, I mean that I perceive a reason why nothing will change if you do brain training. It is so frustrating to work with someone whose brain does not shift, and it feels like a waste of time and money. If I think neurofeedback might not be the right solution for you, the only way I will work with you is if you are aware that I think it’s a gamble, and we move forward like it’s an experiment.

What this means is that when I schedule a consultation, it’s not a sales technique. It’s a time for you to come in, get to know me, see the equipment, and ask questions.

In addition, it’s a time for me to get an idea of whether we might be a good fit. Usually, based on our conversation, people realize for themselves when things seem like they won’t work well; it’s only rarely that I have to find a way to tell people that it isn’t a good idea.

If you wonder whether you are a good fit for neurofeedback, here are a few things that people who get good results have in common:

They’re ready to commit time to training. Neurofeedback is a bit like going to the gym. In my gym, you’re expected to work out twice a week (or more, if you’d like to train more intensively). People who get what they want out of neurofeedback with me commit to twice weekly training. 

They’re doing the other things they need to do. If you need to go to sleep an hour earlier than is your habit, then do it. If you need to see a psychotherapist, then do it.  If you need to see another type of caregiver, whether that’s a physician, a chiropractor, a massage therapist, an acupuncturist, a nutritionist, or a physical therapist, then do it. There is a nice synergy that occurs when a person brings together the team they need.  Or, if you have personal habits that need to shift, making that shift matters. If you can’t be bothered to go to sleep at a reasonable hour, for example, getting to bed on time will help you get better results from neurofeedback training.

They understand what neurofeedback can and cannot do. If you’re in a toxic relationship, or participate in too many extracurricular activities in school, or if you have some other part of your life that is way out of balance, neurofeedback may help you find your calm center so that you can address the hard things in your life with more courage and ease. However, neurofeedback is not a magic wand and cannot fix your crazy world. That part is up to you.

They tell me about their meds. I am not a doctor, and I make no recommendations about medications one way or another. But, neurofeedback is a gentle teaching tool for the brain, and it is no match for some medications.  Most common medications are just fine to combine with neurofeedback, but a few make doing neurofeedback a gamble at best, and a waste of time at worst.

They provide feedback. Neurofeedback is collaborative. My part involves operating basically as a coach or personal trainer. I set the conditions for training. Your part is for your brain to do the work. It is also important for you to provide feedback about how you feel and what you feel shifting. Without that, we’re flying blind.

Some people are not good self-reporters, and that is okay, as long as they have another person in their life who can observe what’s happening and provide feedback. Often, that’s a partner, friendly co-worker, parent, or teacher.

If you think you can do all these things, chances are you may be a good candidate for neurofeedback.