I already knew that many students struggle their freshman year of college, but until I read this recent article from the New York Times, I had no idea that a full 30 percent of all students in the US fail to return to school the next fall for their sophomore year.  The article lists many reasons why some students struggle so much that they leave school, notably that our students aren’t ready to face the freedoms of college by taking care of themselves and regulating their own sleep, study, and party habits.

As much as I appreciate this article, it seems not to emphasize that, especially here in Northern Virginia where there are enormous pressures to excel in school, we don’t stop to think about what sets our kids up for success BEFORE they leave home.  It’s so easy to presume that because they were accepted to college or are academically prepared for college, the next step after high school automatically should be going away to school.  But, just as our children didn’t all walk, talk, and learn to ride a bike at the same time, they don’t all hit those maturing into adulthood milestones at the same time, either.

If your student isn’t quite on track to launch into college, you probably know it or are worried about about it. So, what do you do about that niggling feeling?

One key solution is to ask yourself what your student really needs rather than going along with societal pressure to pretend everything is fine or just crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.  Here are a few answers to that question of how to help your unprepared student:

• Gap Time. For some, a break from school to explore an interest, work, travel, or do volunteer work is an excellent option, especially for the teen who just needs more time to mature enough to see the benefit of college. It’s scary for parents, who may worry that one year off may result in every year off, but that time may give your student exactly what he needs.
• Community College. For some, a semester or two of community college, even part-time if that’s appropriate, can give time to develop the independence they need to leave home. Check with the university your student wants to attend to be certain, but many schools will still consider an applicant a freshman (and therefore eligible for freshman scholarships/financial aid) if she has fewer than 30 community college credit hours.  Or, if your student ends up wanting to stay in community college longer, there is a two-year guaranteed acceptance program in Virginia that promises acceptance to the school of your choice as long as the applicant meets GPA requirements. In addition to students who have taken a year before going away to a four-year school, I’ve known people who’ve transferred to William & Mary and UVA using guaranteed acceptance.  This is definitely not a “lesser” option for students who just aren’t quite ready to leave home.
• Neurofeedback. You may not have heard of it before, but brain training using neurofeedback is appropriate for high schoolers who need to build resilience in the face of tension, stress, and overwhelm BEFORE going away. Because it takes about five or six months to complete neurofeedback training, the ideal time to get started is a minimum of six months before heading off to school, and preferably well before that.
• Mental health care. It can be hard to know where the line lies between normal stress and anxiety and anxiety as a mental health issue. If you have concerns that your teen might be suffering from an anxiety disorder (or depression), talk with your doctor or another professional.

Give me a call if you would like to explore whether and how neurofeedback might help your student who is either not quite ready to launch or has come home and is not prepared to go back next semester.