Tag Archives: fairfax

When Self-Care Isn’t Just a Buzzword

Media telling us we need to engage in self-care is seemingly everywhere these days. What they tend to mean by self-care is mostly all about taking little breaks for ourselves—a 10-minute meditation during lunch, or 10 minutes of journalling before bed, or maybe even a massage on an all-out-Me kind of day.

That’s one way to look at it, and goodness knows that in our overly stressed, overly busy, overly demanding world, little breaks matter a great deal.

But, there’s another way of looking at self-care that is longer-lasting and, in my opinion, more significant.

It involves doing the important daily tasks. Here’s what I mean:

Picture for yourself a cute toddler or preschooler. They’re usually absolutely adorable and utterly dependent on a loving person to care for them.

In a healthy situation, that loving caregiver probably structures the child’s day. There are regular times for getting up, taking naps, and going to bed. There’s bath time. There’s healthy, real food served at regular times of day. There is physical activity—maybe a walk or time at the park, or even just jumping around the room on a rainy, cold day. There are lots of snuggles. And story time. Creative time to draw, paint, or craft in some way. There’s music, most likely. There’s goofiness and giggles. There’s an authority figure to provide safety and, when things go wrong, comfort. That authority/safety figure also takes the toddler to a professional provider for care when needed.

That’s what caring for a child looks like at its finest.

But, if you’re reading this, I bet you’re not a child. Yet despite growing up, you remain worthy of good care.

Who’s taking care of you? In the end, it’s mostly just you. You are doing self-care every day, and my guess is that it doesn’t look nearly as wonderful or perfect as the care-taking I described above.

Perhaps it’s time to change that, because self-care at its deepest level isn’t just about candles or bubble baths or even just regular massages. It’s about creating structures and following healthy habits for sleeping, eating, moving, working, and tending to one’s spiritual and mental well-being.

Those are hard things when the world both pushes us to be perfect and simultaneously drives us crazy.

A few years ago, my favorite nutritionist gave me good life advice without meaning to do so. She said that when she has clients who are eating the Standard American Diet (which is pretty horrific), she starts their enormous shift by adding in one small thing a day instead of demanding that they go cold turkey and never eat anything non-nutritious ever again. She advises them to start the habit of just eating an apple or other piece of fruit to their day, as many days as they can, until enjoying fruit becomes a habit. Then it might be to add a yummy vegetable of their choice. And, it snowballs from there so that within a year, that person is eating well (not perfect, but well) and experiencing better health.

I think this advice of adding in one small thing makes sense in creating any new habit, and I’m sure you can use your imagination to apply this idea to any area in which you want to improve your true self-care, those places where you have to do hard things to be good to yourself, like sticking to a reasonable bed time.

My world, of course, is stress reduction. My approach to neurofeedback is nurturing, not just technology. If you’ve reached the breaking point and know that true self-care is what you need, contact me. I have a full toolkit of ideas to help you take better care of yourself, from brain training to technology-guided relaxation to hypnosis and more.

Adding in some kind of work with me may be just like adding in an apple a day for better dietary habits—it could and usually does lead to a cascade of changes.

If you’re not sure and aren’t ready to contact me yet, please read through my blog posts. They’re categorized so you don’t need to read all 350-ish posts.

In the meantime, I wish you a healthy and calm new year.

Let’s Talk Money

How much does this cost?

It seems that no matter where on my website I have placed the cost of my services, people have trouble finding it.  (Right now, costs are mentioned under each modality.) I thought it would be a good idea to lay out the question of dollar cost to make it easier to find.

However, I don’t think that numbers tell the whole story. The actual cost of the service really ought to be compared with what you’re getting in exchange for payment.  My intention is that if you work with me, you receive good value and not just a financial bargain.

NEUROFEEDBACK

What you get:

  • The opportunity to work with a person who is among the most experienced in Northern Virginia. I’ve been doing neurofeedback for close to 20 years, and there are only a few of us in the area who have dedicated that much time to their craft. You get solid knowledge and skills, personalized and customized to your specific needs and wants.
  • A good environment. There are no white coats to scare you or give you high blood pressure in my office—the emphasis is on calming and relaxation. Sure, the science and technology are there, but my EEG device, HEG gear, and other equipment are purposely kept low-key. The vibe is good for stressed-out and anxious people to come make transformations peacefully.
  • Enough time in training sessions. I train for a solid hour. That hour involves set up and checking in on progress made, 40 minutes or more of actual brain training, and clean up. I’m not a big believer in 20 minutes of training being enough (though of course for children and those with neurodivergence, 20 minutes may be the maximum tolerable; I customize rather than bulldoze through).

The cost:

I begin with a brain map (called a Trainers’ QEEG) most of the time. That is $345. Individual sessions are $140. Insurance does not cover my services, but HSAs usually do. I typically charge 10 sessions in advance to keep bookkeeping overhead at a minimum, but I vary from that plan to help when requested—it’s one of the flexibilities that come from being in charge.

Because neurofeedback is a financial commitment, I do offer payment plans without interest for those who need other payment arrangements.

HYPNOSIS

What you get:

  • In-person or online sessions. I’m certified in both. You have the luxury of making change from the peace of your own home if that’s what you prefer, or experiencing quiet and privacy in my office. It’s your choice!
  • Structured experience, customized for you. I’m trained in 5-PATH hypnosis, which is a way of structuring sessions to get big- and long-term changes in just 4-6 sessions. I bring creativity and experience to sessions so that the structure works for you.
  • Appointments are scheduled for two hours. Not every appointment lasts that long—sometimes we’re finished in about an hour—but I set aside two full hours in case your needs require a bit more. Like everything else, it’s customized for you. And, this way, you know you’ll get everything done without feeling like you’re being rushed out the door.

The cost:

 $275 per session, each payable 24 hours in advance.

ACCESS BARS

What you get:

One hour of an internationally known, phenomenally relaxing session that provides touch to 32 points on the scalp.

The cost:

$145 per session, payable 24 hours in advance.

*Please note that these are the dollar costs as of October 2024. They are subject to change.