Tag Archives: self-care

Grounding Ourselves: Queer Self-Care in Uncertain Times

Today, I’d like to introduce you to guest blogger Jay Woods, LMSW.

Jay (they/them) is a Licensed Master Social Worker and Supervisee in Social Work, practicing psychotherapy in Virginia under clinical supervision. Jay specializes in working with adults and adolescents, offering compassionate, trauma-informed therapy to help clients deepen their self-understanding, navigate major life transitions, and create meaningful change. Jay provides individual therapy both virtually and in person and can be reached at Jay@harmonypsychotherapyllc.com

Here’s what Jay has to say about self-care. If this message strikes a chord for you, Jay would be pleased to speak with you about your needs.

In these challenging times, the importance of self-care and mental health is especially critical for the queer community. Our lives are filled with layers of experiences that shape how we feel—both emotionally and physically. When stress hits, it’s not just in our minds; our bodies bear witness. There’s a subtle, persistent tension—a tightening in the chest or shallow breath—that reminds us of past hurts and the unique pressures we face. Recognizing these signals is the first step toward reclaiming our sense of well-being.

For many of us, the journey toward self-care is intertwined with the need to honor our experiences of feeling othered or misunderstood. Early on, many queer individuals learn to navigate a world that often expects us to hide parts of ourselves, leading to a disconnect between who we are and how we experience our bodies. When we tune into our physical sensations, we find a map of our inner world—one that can guide us toward practices that soothe and heal. Whether it’s a few moments of deep breathing, a short walk, or simply taking time to adjust our posture, these small acts can create meaningful shifts in our state of being.

At the same time, reflecting on our past—our struggles with acceptance, the moments of isolation, the times when our voices were silenced—can be a powerful tool. When we acknowledge those memories, we create space to rewrite the narrative of our lives. Self-care means more than just managing stress; it means affirming our worth and our identity, even when the world seems determined to marginalize us.

This journey isn’t about quick fixes but about building resilience and learning to trust our own inner wisdom. By integrating mindfulness practices with a compassionate understanding of our personal histories, we can cultivate a mental and emotional space where we not only survive but thrive. The path may be challenging, but by honoring both our body and our story, we empower ourselves to live with authenticity and resilience.

Tools for Stress and Emotional Distress

The Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology has a new page on their website called Resources for Resilience. It consists of a large number of tools and techniques that a person can use to achieve a calmer state in a short time. The effects are temporary, but when you need it, you need it!

These techniques are divided by feeling:

Scared or Anxious

Frozen, Shocked, Exhausted

Angry, Racing Thoughts

Confused, Clumsy

Upset by Memories

These self-help techniques are largely taught via short YouTube videos and won’t take up too much of your busy day.

If you happen to find that one particular tool has been especially beneficial, feel free to send your feedback on your experience to me at Tamera at BrainShapeVA dot com.

Community Care IS Self-Care

Around 10:30 pm on December 25th, I received a text wishing me a Merry Christmas and many blessings. I had to look twice, because the text came from a person I’d only met once for about an hour, for business purposes, several months ago.

I thought it was unusual, but I took it at face value and returned the Christmas wishes. I could’ve been suspicious that it was some sales-related thing. I could’ve thought it was hokey. I could’ve wondered whether it was appropriate to presume I even celebrated Christmas. I did not imagine those things until much later, because in the brief hour we’d met a few months ago, I had surmised that this was a kind-hearted, decent man. His intentions were earnest.

We exchanged a couple more short texts, and he ended up saying, “You never know what kind of impact a simple random text can have for [the other person] or you or both.”

He is so right. I must’ve been one of hundreds of people he texted. At 10:30 at night, on a holiday that can be fraught for so many, he spent what must’ve been a fair amount of time to extend a simple kindness. His gesture touched me, and who knows, it may have made all the difference for someone else in his contacts list.

You just never know what impact a small gesture of kindness might have.

Will a simple text cure depression or persistent anxiety? Will it alleviate symptoms of trauma or PTSD? Of course not. But that isn’t the point. It was a small reminder that we are all in community with each other. We are each responsible to watch out for each other, in ways large and small.

A new year is coming, and for so many of us, it’s a time for new beginnings and fresh starts. For me, this text that struck me so much has set the tone for the new year. My occupation is the work of caring for others, but now, because of this text, I am starting the new year by looking at my work with a slightly different eye: what small things can I do that might make a difference, however briefly, in the life of those I encounter? What can I do in daily life, outside of work?

I encourage you, even if you think a random late-night text on a holiday is a bit beyond what you would ever choose to do, to think about the small things you could do to serve your community. Serving others in healthy ways is, in the end, one of the best parts of self-care.

I wish you and those you care about a healthy, peaceful, and abundant-in-all-ways new year.

(For more thoughts on self-care, see my blog post here.)